The only words I ever feel are worthwhile saying have either the purpose of humor or the purpose of simplistic, human-to-human connection.

Sometimes I think it unfortunate that my mind is oriented toward intellectual abstraction. There’a an information processing layer that can act as a buffer to immediate experience. I wouldn’t say I rely on this, just that I tend towards this delayed experience of the world, as opposed to spontaneous and whimsical experience. I think this is to the bewilderment of others.

They cannot quite understand me. In a way, it’s inhuman, non-intuitive and non-relatable. Although, it’s part of who I am. But all the times I try to articulate my thoughts, this always seems to fall short. The result is a rational explanation that leaves something to be desired.

Intellectual abstraction is useful in the modern world – it’s a potent predictor of success. But it feels isolating. My thoughts don’t track with day-to-day happenings. Instead they’re often focused on unlocking some eclectic mystery, something that is seemingly too divorced from reality for others to relate. Maybe I’m mincing words here. I’m uninterested in academic naval-gazing. Instead, I feel that I’m trying to understand the ultimate, or meta-, realities. And, trying to abstract truths about life, in this way, ironically, is divorced from day-to-day realities.

Part of me sees this as a call to live simply. But I know that I cannot run from my mind’s desire for intellectual and creative thought. As always with these writings, I seem to find my way back to a middle ground – to respond to my initial inquiry with the need for balance. It’s like what is said in the Denial of Death – to take my thoughts and entrepreneurial career dead seriously, with the severity of a soldier. Then to smile, and at any moment, be willing to laugh a life’s work into oblivion.